KP in:  The TP Sitch
by whitem
Summary: One of those oneshots that wouldn't leave me alone until I typed it up.  I subtitled this KP, FD, PD, EMT, GJ, TV, and TP...  Please R&R...  Warning:  Contains potty humor


Hey all… Just another quick one-shot that came to mind, and it just would not leave me alone! I had to type this up. Then I thought, would anyone else think this is funny? I hope y'all think it is…

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters involved in this rather… unique sitch

KP in: The TP Sitch

(Subtitled: KP, FD, PD, EMT, GJ, TV, and TP)

Kim couldn't believe what she had done as she held her stomach, slightly bent over, and trying to walk the last few steps to her house. Why had she let Ron talk her into doing that_? I shouldn't have even let my lips touch that damn thing! I ALWAYS watch what I eat!_

A small belch escaped her lips as she shakily tried to put the house key into the slot. _'comn, 'cmon… Get in there…Finally!_ The door unlocked and Kim quickly shuffled to the small bathroom down stairs, dropped her pants, and let out a loud sound of relief. (among other sounds) "WHY did I let Ron talk me into eating a Double Bean Burrito Surprise?"

After she sat there for a few minutes, Kim turned to her left and reached out for… Oh no… Oh please no…

There on the little holder on the side of the cabinet was nothing but a cardboard tube! "Please, please, please…" She frantically said as she reached around the basin cabinet, and opened the small door. She bent over to look inside and there was the empty plastic bag that used to be filled with toilet paper!

"Noooooooo!" _NOW what am I going to do?_ She thought frantically. _Mom and Dad won't be home for another hour, and the tweebs won't be here for a while either. I guess I could wait… No, that just won't work. I can't sit here that long…!_

"I suppose I could call…" Kim said to herself as she dug in her pants for the Kimmunicator. _This is soo embarrassing. _

Kim scrunched her eyes, and pressed the call button, holding the device close to her so that only her shoulders and face would be picked up by the device's camera.

"Hey, Kim. What's up?" Wade said in his usual chipper voice.

"Umm, Wade…" She said, forcing a smile on her face, and tried to look as non-chalant as possible, considering the circumstances. I" kinda have a little bit of a sitch on my hands here."

"What's up Kim? You in trouble?"

"Well… I…"

"Kim…" Wade said in a hushed voice, thinking that someone might be listening in. "I can have help there in 5 minutes. What's going on? House invasion? Burglar? It's Shego… Isn't it? Hang on Kim, I'll get help to you right away!"

Before she could get a word in edge-wise, Wade signed off, and left Kim hanging. "Wade what are you going to do?" She said aloud to a blank Kimmunicator screen.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Ron!" Wade just about screamed into the phone after he answered. "Kim's in trouble at her house! We gotta get there as fast as we can!"

"What's the sitch Wade? Do you know what we're getting in to?"

"I couldn't get much for details out of her, but it seems pretty serious. Let's cover all bases here. I'll call the Police, Fire Department, paramedics, an ambulance, and GJ. You get a hold of her parents and get over to the house!"

Wade was able to contact all the emergency personnel, and Ron was able to contact both Mr. and Mrs. Dr. P. Both were having a slow day at work, and were able to leave early. Ron then jumped on his scooter and rushed over to Kim's house.

"Oh Man! I Hope KP is OK. Shego better not have been able to find out where she lives!" Ron pushed the scooter to the fastest it had ever gone, which was a blistering 18 MPH.

As Ron hurried to his friends house, he wasn't aware of the small contingent of emergency vehicles rushing their way to the Possible household, which in turn was followed by a TV news van who had picked up the chatter on a scanner.

Ron arrived first, and then one by one, each emergency entity arrived. First, two police cars skidded to a halt, sirens blaring and lights flashing. Next came an ambulance in the same manner. Doors opened, and slammed shut as the paramedics grabbed all essential gear. A fire truck arrived next, complete with hook and ladder, and set up across the street, and began hooking up to a fire hydrant. Then the loudest arrived. A black GJ helicopter flew past, and set up a perimeter by hovering a few hundred yards away from the roof. Then last, but certainly not least, the TV van arrive, and began setting up their mini-dish to start transmitting a signal.

Inside sat Kim Possible. She could hear everything going on, but she wasn't sure where it was actually.

"Wow! Is that the police?" She wondered aloud to herself. "Now that sounds like an ambulance. I hope no one was seriously hurt."

_It all sounds so close._ She then thought to her self._ What was that? A helicopter?_ She instinctively ducked her head as the helicopter sounded like it just swept over her house. _What is going on out there?_

Her thought was answered when she heard a familiar voice on a bullhorn. "KP…! You in there?"

"Ron…?" Her head snapped up.

"OK, who ever is in there holding Kim hostage, you're surrounded. There's no way out!" Ron then turned off the bullhorn, and glanced over at Officer Hobble who was taking notes from Kim's Mom and Dad.

"We haven't been contacted about any demands on the release of your daughter. We're trying to call in to the house now."

Kim heard the phone ring in the kitchen. "Great… who would be calling now?" She thought as her legs started to get numb from sitting on the toilet seat.

"No answer." Said the erstwhile police officer.

"I'm going in." Ron said with an air of confidence.

"Now just wait a minute there, son. You don't know what, or who may be in there."

"But Kim's in there!" Ron said rather loudly. "If it's any of her usual foes, I'm the only one here trained to handle the situation!"

Officer Hobble took in a breath, and pushed it out hard. "Well, you're right. Here, take this radio, and call us in 10 minutes after you go in. If you don't call, we're going to launch tear grenades, and then charge in. Got it?"

"Yes sir, I understand."

Ron took the radio, clipped it to his belt, and immediately from the weight of the radio, his pants went down to his ankles. "Awww Mannn!" Ron's Fearless Ferret boxers made an un-scheduled appearance on the evening news.

After hastily pulling his cargo's back up, Ron cinched the belt up a notch, and headed towards the Possible's front door. He silently listened, stepped back, and was ready to kick the door in when a thought crossed his mind. He put his foot down and tried the doorknob. It turned, and the door swung open un-obstructed.

He pushed the door completely open, and immediately crouched, ready for anything. As soon as he did this, a hush fell over the gathering crowd of onlookers, and the police trained their guns on the door, ready for anything that may rush out.

Nothing happened.

Ron then slowly entered into the house, and noticed that all the lights were off. It was a little dark, as the sun was beginning to set, but not so dark that he couldn't see.

Cautiously looking around, his eyes adjusted to the dim light, and then he finally noticed a small slit of light underneath the bathroom door. He slowly walked up to the door, and lightly knocked.

Inside the bathroom, Kim was continuing to wonder what was happening outside, and suddenly she heard a small knock on the door. "Yes?" She answered in a small voice.

"Kim? You OK?" Ron asked in a hushed voice.

"Ron? What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to save you Kim. Who else is in the house? I don't see anyone, so they could be hiding anywhere."

"Ron… There's… no one else here." Kim answered.

"Huh? I thought you were in trouble? Wade said you needed me, and he called everyone to your house."

"Everyone? Who's all here?"

"Well, let's see…" Ron ticked off all the emergency vehicles while counting them on his fingers, and also mentioned the TV van. "… and I think there's a pretty good crowd growing outside too." Ron paused. "There's no emergency, is there, Kim." Ron finished with a flat statement.

"Uhh… No."

"Then why did you call Wade?"

"Ron?" Kim said, her voice sounding a little funny. "Would you believe that I have no toilet paper?"

The end…

* * *

Sorry 'bout the "Potty Humor"

Now I can go work on my other 2 stories that are in progress…


End file.
